How beautiful are you...really?

I had a really interesting conversation last night with two girlfriends that has inspired this blog of mine.

One of my friends is very soon going to be taking part in a Real Women photo shoot for a lingerie brand. She has selected for her beauty and the fact that she is a Real Women. She is a tad worried about how her body will be portrayed and if she will be harshly judged for not being a size 6 anymore. The photo shoot itself is all about representing real women rather than the perfect models we are used to seeing so I am sure they will make sure that she looks amazing.
Us girls were discussing how harshly we judge ourselves and our imperfections. We constantly compare ourselves to the over airbrushed and "Photoshopped" models and celebrities. These women don't even exist in real life! You really think that they all wake up looking like that every day? I hardly think so! We could all look like that after 4 hours of make-up and hair and a Photoshop professional on hand to remove anything deemed unacceptable. Actually... I wonder how the celebs feel when their figures are slimmed, ears moved back and noses made smaller?? Basically being shown how they should look in an ideal world. No wonder so many of them have drug, eating, drinking disorders!

I am 30 and the other two girls are only a few years away and this is a huge turning point in our lives. The partying, drinking and shopping becomes less of a highlight and more of a "once in a while" activity. So looking at the "Tweenies" who are younger, slimmer and seem to be having all the fun we have to remind ourselves of what the extra years have gained us. We have great loves in our life, careers and perhaps even children.

When I kissed by 20's goodbye last month it was a sad farewell but I can finally manage to look forward to my 30's and settling into my life a bit more. Almost like the shoe finally fits. And yes, perhaps it isn't a shinny stiletto and more of a funky, comfy boot but hey - its comfortable and feels good. Perhaps we should not judge ourselves at getting older and take the time to realise how beautiful we really are rather than striving for something unattainable and missing out on the beauty we have.

Let me paint a picture of the three of us last night - Girl 1.. a beautiful blond with huge brown eyes the most fantastic curvy figure, a proud mum of two, a much adored wife and a brilliant friend. Girl 2... another beautiful blond with a toned figure to die for, successful swimming teacher, much loved by her family, friends and boyfriend and a big heart. Girl 3.... is me. I will get onto the description in a bit..read on.

All three of us judge ourselves on what we believe to be our beauty flaws (of course all three of us disagreed with each others perceived flaws). We all seem to think the other two are so beautiful the way they are. Thank god for friends who always boost our confidence but why can we not do the same for ourselves? Why do we as women need to judge ourselves so harshly? Shouldn't we rather spend our time coming to accept the bodies we were dealt in this life and love them?

So I challenge you to write a comment on this blog. Simply describe yourself as the beautiful successful woman that you are (in no more than 150 words) as if you were describing your best friend. It is really hard to be 100% complimentary about yourself I agree. But here goes...

She is a beautiful red head with blue eyes, a little more cuddly than preferred but a well proportioned body! She is loved very much by husband, family and friends because of her big heart and generous nature. Her dedication to her passions has brought her many achievements all of which make her who she is today.

Make sure you spread the love

Okay so I have been away for a while.. forgive me for I have sinned.


A lot has gone on since November, a lot of thinking and contemplating and EATING. Oops! I got to January and discovered I was literally bursting at the seams - the buttons on my work trousers had long given up and they themselves were literally letting go. NOT brilliant! So I joined Slimming World for the first time 3 weeks ago and have already seen great success. The buttons are now firmly sewn back on again and no longer under as much strain. Brilliant!

I have also started again with my Buddhism meditation classes on Saturday mornings. The centre around the corner from where I live is an absolute haven. It feels a million miles away from the hustle of the town centre which is only four blocks up the road. The class consists of a 30 minute meditation, an hour talk and another 30 minute meditation to finish off with. I love going there and it always calms my mind from my hectic week and helps me to put things into perspective. This week the talk was on the normally avoided topic of death. A bit of a morbid topic for a Saturday morning you might say, but this is not what it is meant to be. They teach you that if you can wholly accept that you ARE going to die and the uncertainty of WHEN you are going to die you should lead a much more fulfilled life. Every moment of every day you should be mindful of the fact you are alive and make sure that you use every breath to breath happiness and peace into your life and those around you. The contemplation on death that we did at the end of the session was hard for me. I have never properly considered the fact that I could die today, this week, next week .. anytime really. I always made plans for doing things later.

To top it all I had some bad news from a friend yesterday who had been attacked the previous weekend and left on the side of a road unconscious. I was overwhelmed. It really hit me how fragile this life is and that I had never taken that very seriously.

So - with this new found appreciation for life I intend to stop making plans for tomorrow and rather focus on right now. Making sure that the people I love know that I love them, making sure I love myself in every way possible (including shedding this weight ASAP and less procrastinating) and spreading as much happiness as I can. It might all sound a bit ridiculous to you and perhaps you think "my family already know that I love them". Well do they? Do they really know how much?

Do shrug off you boyfriend's/mother's kiss goodbye in the morning because they annoyed you before you managed to finish your first cup of tea? When you say "Love you" at the end of a phone call do you say it like you mean it rather than out of habit? When you ask some one how they are do you REALLY mean it? I have thought about the answers to these questions a lot and I know I fall into the trap of just letting each day slip by without any significant emotional exchanges.

One last thought to ponder........If you knew you were going to die in seven days I am sure you would spend your time doing all the loving, cuddling, listening and giving you could possibly manage. Death can be so unexpected so why wait for the bad news to spread the love.

Namaste x